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Bloom Your Growth
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Bloom Your Growth
  • 91.8K views
  • 3 years ago
Kenyans who get arrested
(phr.)

There are 8 Types of Kenyans who get arrested as listed below

Talibans.

(n.) These ones are always ready for anything. They fear nothing and they always talk like they have a death wish.

"Ati uko an bunduki sasa nikuogope? Mi siogopangi kifo, kama siku yangu imefika, imefika, ata wewe utakufa siko moja ghasia"

Fake Talibans.

(n.) This one talks a big game but akisikwa anaanza kulia akisema mpigie mamake ju ameanza kuimagine vile mali safi kama yeye won't stand a chance in prison.

The bonis.

(n.) They just ask themselves one question, what would Boniface Mwangi do? Then goes ahead and starts stating your rights, some that you didn't even know you had and you're just there hoping it works cause it could go either way

The Corrupt.

(n.) This one does not even wait for them to ask, he even knows them by name and how to speak their love language.

"Msijali wasee, najuanga hiki kifala kinaeza kusumbua sana. Kinatakanga 200 pekee acha niongee an yeye"

The Don't Care.

(n.) You can tell that this guy has done this so many times before. They are always unfazed by the arrest. You can't even tell what their plan is, whatever happens. "Irriz whaaririz"

The Clueless.

(n.) These are the majority in the group. They just go with the vibes cause they have no clue what's happening, kazi yao ni kupanic na kuuliza "Wasee kunaendaje? Ati amesema nini? sa tutado" after every 2 minutes.

The Bully.

(n.) This one is a Taliban but on steroids. They are so aggressive and hurl insults to the police threatening their job. "Unajua mi ni nani? Leo umeshika ule mbaya mbwa wewe! wacha nipige simu tuone kama kesho utakuwa kazi" You better pray the contract comes through or else you're f*cked.

Omanyalas.

(n.) Hawa hawashikakwangi juu the sight of any police uniform is all it takes for these guys to summon their inner Omanyala and without any warning, they're off! unaachwa hapo pekee yako!

Someone famous #kenyandictionary
  • 33 views
  • 4 months ago
Fansnub
(n.)

1. noun — A content platform where creators flip the script: instead of giving free attention, they snub fans unless those fans pay to engage. Think of it as the anti-simp economy — where exclusivity and monetization meet.
2. verb — To deny access to your content or attention unless a fan subscribes or pays. A power move in the world of online creators.

Fansnub.com is where creators set boundaries, own their worth, and turn fandom into income. No tips? No DMs. No pay? No play.

Example:
"She used to reply to every comment, but now she’s on Fansnub — you gotta pay if you wanna play. Total fansnubbed."

Tags: fansnub, content creator, monetization, exclusive content, paywall, creator economy, fansnub.com, online hustle, digital economy

Someone famous #kenyandictionary
  • 33.4K views
  • 3 years ago
Book of Lies
(adv.)

Married Men,

  1. But you are still married to your wife, why don't you divorce her if you love me as you say you do?
  2. Siezi sema ati ni kitu serious. Juu ingekuwa serious singekuwa hapa na wewe my love
  3. If i divorce her, i lose everything. No more money for us babyghurl. Hivo ndio unataka?"
  4. Amekataa tuachane, anaanza kusema atajinyonga. she's like a curse my love
  5. Mi ata sikuwa namtaka, i was forced to mary her ju alipata ball yangu. It was a planned wedding.
  6. I married young and i didnt know myself and what i wanted, which is you my jaber
  7. Because of my job,i have to stay married so as to be perceived as being stable. Usijali, its purely work related
  8. Hata hatulalangi kitanda moja. we are just roommates tunaprotect image. Hiyo isikusumbue.
  9. Niko na yeye ju ya watoto. I'm just a responsible father, but mapenzi iliisha. You're the one i love.
  10. Kesi iko kotini and you know Kenyan courts, it can take upto 10yrs. i just wish i had met you earlier.
Someone famous #kenyandictionary
  • 40.4K views
  • 3 years ago
Sura nimeiona mahali lakini jina ndio imenupotea
(phr.)

When they ask you kwani hunikumbuki? And you have no idea who they are but you don't want to hurt their feelings coz they're so happy to see you and they seem nice. 

Someone famous #kenyandictionary
  • 99.7K views
  • 3 years ago
Weh! Si gave you back your phone hakumbuki?
(phr.)

Nothing will sober you up faster than this statement. Kwanza ikue mteja, you'll just stand there the whole night in silence kama Kuku imenyeshewa, depressed af!

Someone famous #kenyandictionary
  • 20.6K views
  • 3 years ago
What feels illegal but isn't?
(q.)

Going back to work this week: Not to sound like we're complaining but how tf! do we go from shouting "mi sipangwingwi" to "Kindly see attached and treat as urgent." in 2 days! All we need is like 2 to 3 weeks to recover from December and an advance as company policy, nothing too crazy bana.

Someone famous #kenyandictionary
  • 51.4K views
  • 3 years ago
Nilireplace sim card nikapoteza contacts
(phr.)

This is how Kenyans let you know that they cut you off. They'll save your number again and then delete it again until you learn. mtu anakucut off alafu unarudi, kwani unataka kumuua?

Someone famous #kenyandictionary
  • 119 views
  • 2 years ago
Jason Delulu
(n.)

That one friend who is forever sending you links to their music well ignoring the fact that they sound like 10 babies dying in a hot car.they know that you know that their music is ass but no matter how politely you tell them they still include you in their WhatsApp YouTube music video link broadcasts.YO KEVIN IF YOU CAN SEE THIS YOU NOT MAKING IT OUT THE BLOCK BRODIE,focus na masomo😭.scariest part us that they think they the next Drake💀

Someone famous #kenyandictionary
  • 95.9K views
  • 3 years ago
Singleish
(n.)

I philosophy/lifestyle on love and relationships in which one remains single in the sense of not entering any kind of committed relationship but continues to date and enjoy non-platonical relationships with no intention to start one. They do not want to simply have sex with people or they will just be a player 

They are crucially open about their desire and do not lead anyone into thinking they mean to commit more than they do. 

Someone famous #kenyandictionary

  • 64.1K views
  • 4 years ago
Your opinion has been noted and will be considered
(phr.)

Screw you and your opinion 

Someone famous #kenyandictionary